He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
