The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
