I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
