I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
