Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
