U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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