There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
