why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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