I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
