So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
