my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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