we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Also, beer. Big fan.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
