I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
