did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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