is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Randomize
