Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
