About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Randomize
