You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
