It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
