I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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