there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
