He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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