everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
