she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I met the friendliest cop last night
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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