did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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