I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
