i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
