i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I just gargled with NyQuil
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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