i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
