dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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