bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
My vagina just clenched in fear
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize