Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize