escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
