What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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