So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
