Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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