I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
