I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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