He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
