i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
