my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
