Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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