Betty ford says i'm here all night
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
