If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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