Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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