Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
