should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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