what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
