He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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