A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
