you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Randomize
