Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize