Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
