why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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