wat bout pragnant strippers??
True but thats because hes a fetus.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
