i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
