that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize