my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
