My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
