just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
