brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
home. puking in laundry basket.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Randomize
