After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
