Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
