Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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