He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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