Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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